19 Sep Gaslighting
In a stage play and suspense thriller from the 1930s entitled “Gas Light,” a conniving husband tries to make the wife he wishes to get rid of think she is losing her mind by making subtle changes in her environment, including slowly and steadily dimming the flame on a gas lamp. In recent years, the term “gaslighting” has come to be applied to attempts to create so much doubt in the minds of their targets of exploitation that the victim no longer trusts their own judgment about things and buys into the assertions of the manipulator, thus coming under their power and control.
Commonly adopted by psychopathic, sociopathic and narcissistic types of people, Gaslighting tends to eat away at you slowly until you realize that you’re a shell of the former person you were.
Gaslighters use a variety of subtle techniques to undermine your reality and portray you as the disturbed and messed up one. These include, for example:
- Discrediting you by making other individuals surmise that you’re insane, nonsensical or unsteady.
- Utilizing a veil of certainty, self-assuredness, and/or fake sympathy to make you trust that you “have everything incorrectly.” Therefore, inevitably you start to doubt yourself and believe their adaptation of past occasions.
- Changing the subject. The gaslighter may redirect the subject by posing another question, or creating an impression typically coordinated at your considerations, e.g. “You’re imagining things—that never happened!” “No, you’re wrong, you didn’t recall right.” “Is that another insane thought you got from your (family member/companion)?”
- Minimizing. By trivializing how you feel and what you think, the gaslighter acquires more control over you, e.g. “Why are you being so touchy?” “You don’t have to get irate over an easily overlooked detail that way!” “I was simply kidding around, why are you considering things so important?”
- Denial and avoidance. By refusing to acknowledge your feelings and thoughts, the gaslighter causes you to doubt yourself more and more. For example, “I don’t remember that, you must have dreamt it!” “You’re lying, I never said that.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re changing the subject.”
- Twisting and reframing. At the point when the gaslighter certainly and inconspicuously curves and reframes information disclosed or helped in out, they can make you second-figure yourself—particularly when combined with fake empathy, making you feel as however you seem to be “precarious,” “unreasonable,” et cetera.